If you aren’t sure how to approach your family about these topics, you may be able to start with a religious advisor, spiritual confidant, or best friend. These people may be great resources, as well as a good support team.

Talk about your wishes if you were to become ill or injured. Would you want to remain on life support, and, if so, under what conditions? What would you like to have done upon your death? While a will is advisable to distrib¬ute your estate, your family will also need to know beforehand if you have a preference about being buried or cremated. If you wish to be buried, does your family know where? If you wish to be cremated, would you want the ashes scattered somewhere special? What kind of service would you want? What are your favorite songs, poems, or sayings? What roles would you like specific people to have in these affairs? Leaving instructions on these matters not only gives you some control after you are gone, but it also resolves indecision for those you leave behind.

Discussing these issues doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind later. You may eventually want to make different choices, but you will need to communicate these as well. Plus your friends and family may be able to offer suggestions—which may not have occurred to you—or ask questions about issues you hadn’t considered.