After the Loss of A Loved One:A Guide to Legal and Emotional Concerns

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Section III: Help with the Healing Process



Utilize help from others

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As you move through the grief process, realize that there are many avenues of help available to you. Funeral homes have bereavement staff members that can give you information regarding support groups and bereavement counseling in your area. If your loved one received hospice services, the hospice program usually has bereavement groups that you can join.

Additionally, you should let your friends and loved ones help you with any problems that you might have. Remember that you would gladly do the same thing for someone else, so you can feel confident that your friends will not mind helping you.

People will understand that you may need to ask for help with things that your loved one used to handle. They want to help! If you are a surviving spouse of someone that always managed the checkbook, it is understood that you might need help with the finances. If you are the surviving spouse of someone that always cooked and cleaned the house, of course you will need some help learning and taking over the new tasks. Consider taking classes at the local senior center or community college on these topics so that you can learn the skills you need.

If you relied on the income from your loved one, you may need to review your finances and adjust your spending accordingly. You don't want to make this time worse by getting into severe financial trouble because you didn't understand your financial situation.

Take time for yourself

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Spirituality is important to facilitate the grief process because it is part of healing. Spirituality is broad and may include religious practices for some people. Spirituality is the essence of a person’s being or inner self. Religion can entail specific beliefs and worship such as prayer, confessions and scripture reading among other practices.

One can use religious practices to tap into this inner self but people who do not have a religious affiliation can do other things as noted below to successfully gain strength and peace during this time. Research has shown that people who engage in spiritual practices to foster peace and serenity within themselves are more likely to maintain emotional health during stressful times.



Recognize the common experiences of loss

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You will experience good days and days that seem to be so emotionally intense that even the simplest task such as bathing, eating or getting prepared to go out of the house seem near impossible. This is not unusual for a person that is experiencing grief; however, this can be very debilitating and unhealthy if you allow each day to pass without engaging in something to give you strength.

This approach, of careing for yourself, can help you gain clarity on the legal and financial decisions that lie ahead.



Do things that help build strength and provide comfort

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The following are just a few things that can build inner strength and provide comfort:

  • Pray,
  • Join support groups,
  • Chant or Meditate,
  • Write your thoughts and memories in a journal,
  • Look at pictures or memorabilia that remind you of the good times with your loved one,
  • Listen to music that you love,
  • Read a book,
  • Participate in activities or hobbies that you love,
  • Take a class at the community college, and
  • Getting involved in local groups that interest you.


Plan for your own passing

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We encourage everyone to prepare for their possible incapacity by selecting a patient advocate through a health care power of attorney and by having a durable power of attorney for finances. We also strongly encourage the creation and regular updating of a will. By taking these steps now, you can help make it easier for your family and friends when the time comes that you are ill or when you die.

Because many costly family disputes are about personal property, you may want to leave a list of personal items and who receives them, along with your will. Michigan law allows you to do this if the list is referenced in your will.

Call the Legal Hotline for Michigan Seniors for more information.